My wedding. It's something I've always dreamed about. Seriously. Always. I've even considered wedding planning as a profession. Not that I've ever planned one, just sounded like great fun.
About three weeks ago, the shelves in my bowling alley sized walk in closet fell down causing my storage boxes of keepsakes to come tumbling down and I found my old journal from middle school--even then I was dreaming about my wedding. I've had a general idea of what I've always wanted, and since I was certain that Zach was The One, I've been gathering general ideas and saving stuff that I wanted. You know..."to make things easier when the time came." Really, I think I just liked all the romance and family togetherness that I thought I would bring. But now, here I am in the midst of all this wedding planning, and I'm feeling nothing but stress. Before getting engaged, I never knew what a peony looked like. But now, oh my goodness, the ONLY month the farmers can't seem to grow peonies is in September.
Seriously, Amy? Get a grip! Just use a ranunculus. They look enough alike, don't they? Don't they!?!
Oh my, I'm turning into a crazy bride! How do you even pronounce that flower! And this whole thing about a budget...it's for the birds. It made things a lot more fun when there was dreaming of things and dresses with no budget!
I was afraid I would get too wrapped up in the wedding and the forget about the most important aspects of engagement. As soon as we got engaged, I made it my goal to stay focused on marriage and life after a wedding. It's about Zach and I joining together as a couple and becoming one unit. It's a time when we should establish God as the center of our lives together and about growing closer as a couple and just enjoying this season of our lives. It was so easy to keep my focus on what marriage is all about in December, and January, and February...then March hit and I decided that this wedding was approaching faster than I was prepared for and I better get down to business.
To be honest, it seems like everything has spiraled out of control and the stress has gotten the best of me. I've been treating my fiancee poorly when he is the one that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with! He is the one that this is all about! In church this morning, I got a reality check when one of the teachers challenged the group to love your man passionately, because if you don't someone else will...and we should give no one else that opportunity.
I took today (well the last part at least...) and focused on my fiancee! My stress and worries all melted away when I realized that he's sticking by my side through the good and the bad, the ugly and the uglier! :) What a great guy he is! Budgets stress? Who cares! At the end of the day, he's going to be mine, and my wedding will be just a blur to everyone else but me and him.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
I Corinthians 13:4-7
